One of my most favorite parts of Mitch Albom’s book “The Time Keeper” was:
Try to imagine a life without timekeeping.
You probably can’t…
Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.
Man alone measures time.
Man alone chimes the hour.
And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.
A fear of time running out.
Today, I learned that I cannot make yesterday, my today, and tomorrow, my yesterday.
No matter how related they are to each other, none of them happens at the same time, and none of them makes sense, at the time that they are happening.
Today, I learned that there is no better teacher than tears.
No matter how much you try to keep it in, fight it or hold it back, letting it flow almost always, makes you realize how much painful it is to let go.
If you really could let go.
Today I learned that I make things complicated and I make things harder than its supposed to.
Its because I fight for what I believe in.
I fight for those I love.
And sometimes, I fight for the wrong reasons.
Today I learned that I do not have control over many things.
That I do not own much in this world;
That the little I have is not even mine to own.
That life is so fragile and precious;
That family is where it starts and where it ends.
That no one has to be alone.
Today I learned to surrender.
And just let God do the rest.
(As part of this learning, please also look up Oprah Winfrey on “The Color Purple”. I remember having second thoughts watching that video when my friend and colleague, Beni, shared it to me. It ended up worth my time.)
One of the most rewarding and frustrating thing in this world is thought.
Thoughts help us mold our beliefs and principles.
It helps us visualize and realize our dreams.
It drives on of the basic forces in life: assertion.
Thoughts help us direct our feelings.
It gives reason a twist – specially, when all you feel is against everything you believe in.
It introduces you to a whole new world – one with doubt and paranoia.
Which does not make it necessarily immoral or evil, but rather, frustratingly self-instigating.
And so, the many times we use, “I thought that…”
And that’s exactly why I’m writing this entry.
I can never understand how your silent smile can draw mere pretense on the curve of my lips;
or see logic at the line of shadow along the sides of your face.
It’s not really as easy as you think,
sitting here everyday, staring into space – or at this stupid piece of square shit, attempting to work my ass off.
It’s just that my mind flies to somewhere else,
somewhere with you – in space.
Okay, so this crazy crap is messing my brain and this is the only time I could pull it off.
When I declare and write it so the world knows about it.
Or you do.
Still, I’m so scared to admit it.
You can never finish a sentence if you continue to delete the first few phrases.
It’s like stage fright. Until that moment when your throat clears up and those butterflies in your stomach fly away to Nothingland, you’re forever stuck in a moment of light that shall demise your ultimate stardom to a humiliating seed, forever haunting and always growing.
What is?
A forever love story.
Whatever happened to hopeless romantic, muses and dreams
to inspiration, fiction
breathing and touch
to storybooks and stories
to smiles and cloudy eyes
to different shades of real and surrealism?
Still there – stuck at a time that no longer exists.
Never moving on.
Blinded of an ever after that is still waiting to happen.
Caught in a sight that never passed.
