maybelle victor

I wish it was better.
I wish the circumstances were different.
I wish that this wasn’t the beginning of today.

I had thought it will be better.
I had thought it will be worthwhile.
I had thought that there will be enough meaning before today.

I thought there would be bright smiles.
I thought there would be singing and echoes and voicing.
I thought there would be memories in the making.

Maybe there was just not enough opportunities.
or maybe, we take for granted opportunities.
Maybe there wasn’t that much time to notice
or maybe, we never tried to stop and observe.
Maybe, we were just focused on the real world
and in this present we never get to seize.

Of the many things I’ve thought, I’ve only proven one thing:
You have to see the picture.

Pictures freeze time, and moments.
It’s a world of happy smiles and opportunities.
And it can always be better.

So much for endings if you’ll forever create them.

A sliver of truth,
mask of shadows
mocking emotions
to a pit of vicious cycle.

Echoes of concern,
vibrations of attraction
dispersing reason
to a pretend reality.

Clouds of doubt,
a rainfall of misery
taunting being…

you will yield
you will come.

My head spins like tornadoes gone wild.
this too shall pass
but what is this that can’t explain
i feel like i’m going insane

my sight is blinded of a so called light
too dark i can’t see my way
this too shall pass

it better should

everything is haywire
i’m in total disarray
save me from this moment
songs filling up empty spaces

empty meanings
empty words
empty beginnings
this too shall pass

sleep is calling me
i have no one else to turn to
sleep with me
i beg of you
this dream is all about you

empty nights
empty beds
empty moments
this too shall pass

hold me tight and tell me you’re real
or i shall let you pass

without me realizing you were ever here.

this too shall pass
it should.

Don’t misunderstand formality with kindness,
bitterness with an opportunity for compassion
and compliments with interest.

Don’t be deceived by battling eyes that seem to pore into your being,
nor swept by sweet words of invisible poison.
They don’t belong.

Alcohol runs through one’s veins like lips on fire,
whilst ice shall always extinguish.
Things are not always what they seem.

Though I really wish they were.

Rather than the invisible audience who I’ve never met, never saw, never will understand – paper became my companion since I posted my last.

Seemingly able to teach me to breathe and move through time, I lived.

But I’m having difficulty breathing.

The child would not stop pursuing a path that she thinks is best.
Unwitttingly stubborn, claims this world of adults…
Genuinely stupid…
and innovatively naive…

I have become who they wanted to see.
unwittingly stubborn – for I never listen to their woes and insults.
genuinely stupid – for I never let my brilliance underestimate their sense of comprehension
innovatively naive – for I never let their poison run in my veins and kill me.

I want to remain unpoised, unfiltered, unwavered… just simply persevering…
I want to remain as me…

Revere calls me.
But I could not heed.

The child wills to hide but I cannot move.
So i slip.  I fall.

And life’s got me stuck at Neverland,
without anyone there…
but me.

Posted as “Revere” on Feb. 4, ’07